Consume Me is an RPG minigame buffet that goes straight to the hits

Beware, reader, for unwrapping and devouring this advent station volition instrumentality you implicit your Bite bounds for the day, adding aggregate paragraphs to your waistline and everlastingly postponing the onset of your Hot Girl Summer. Still, this is simply a slimmer station astatine astir 400 words. If you've been laying disconnected the fatty intros this week, and you're adept astatine rotating things to acceptable your inventory, you mightiness beryllium capable to warrant the snack.

What videogame could get you reasoning astir the carb contented of a videogame article? It tin lone be... Consume Me!

Edwin: If you're looking for the Baby Steps of dieting simulations, 1) your tastes are aggressively particular, and I'd emotion to spot your backlog 2) springiness Consume Me a whirl. It's a furiously inventive and comic slice-of-life RPG with a bosom oregon much accurately, tummy of darkness. You are a miss who wants to shed a fewer pounds, portion staying connected apical of different Adult Responsibilities similar laundry, dog-walking, romancing your blistery neighbour, appeasing your hellmom, and bossing your make-up regular up of a large party.

To transportation retired these tasks, you descend your hands and teeth into a fantastic minigame smorgasbord - yes, I bash situation deploy the mostly editor-forbidden connection "smorgasbord" successful this context. Stuffing Tetronimoes of bacon into an awkward grid layout, dragging your character's Cheestring limbs astir during a workout, clicking rhythmically to seesaw yourself and your preposterous Pomeranian down the pavement... It's WarioWare if Wario needed to chopped his cholesterol, but it's besides thematically and formally consistent, for each the inanity. The presumption suggests a Flash animation of somebody's puerility crayola drafting of a truly neat DS favored game.

It's zippy, colourful, and a truly large videogame comedy, with snort-inducing dependable effects. You'll play precise fewer games that person Consume Me's consciousness of timing. That said, the humour is chopped with self-loathing, truthful possibly deliberation doubly astir playing this if you're having occupation looking astatine yourself successful the mirror. Although you mightiness find the character's difficulties cathartic to behold, if you're having assemblage shame issues. You are a beauteous idiosyncratic by the way. Fatphobes tin spell devour toothpaste.

Be prepared, also, for an eventual twist calved of Consume Me's autobiographical origins that whitethorn astonishment and perhaps, propulsion you off, fixed the wide countercultural feeling of the game. I don't deliberation it spoils anything, though I'd similar to constitute astir it more. But mostly I'd similar much of you to play this truthful we tin propulsion much for much minigame-driven RPGs. Distractions? Harumph and pshaw! Consume Me is grounds that you tin marque a repast of these scattered pieces successful the champion of ways.

Julian: To immoderate readers disturbed by Edwin's flagrant usage of the forbidden word, cognize that this is not a motion of relaxing standards. As Graham did earlier me, and Katharine did earlier him, anyone who is recovered to usage 'smorgasbord' oregon immoderate of the different banned words, specified arsenic 'visceral', 'very unique', oregon 'hoplite' shall beryllium appropriately punished. For his sins, Edwin has been sent to a buffet normal wherever helium volition beryllium forced to illustration a smorgasbord of smorgasbords.