Dear Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, please prove that an AI didn’t write your insulting, vacuous blog about why you're laying off thousands during a time of huge profits

A riddle wrapped successful a enigma wrong an "enigma of success"

Microsoft person published a memo precocious sent to unit by CEO Sayta Nadella, which addresses the unusual information of Microsoft reporting nett income successful the ultrabillions portion laying disconnected thousands of supposedly "treasured colleagues". Most of the blog is simply a gusty, jargony paean to generative AI technology, successful which Microsoft person made immense investments, and however it is going to "empower everyone to make their ain tools" and make a "local surplus" of Ability To Do Stuff successful Microsoft dominions worldwide.

Nothing successful the blog straight addresses what Nadella characterises arsenic the "seeming incongruence" of Microsoft being richer than each of the Roman emperors combined, and inactive taking a blowtorch to video crippled studios similar ZeniMax Online Studios, King, Rare and Sledgehammer Games. But I conjecture it's bully that they've recognised that the optics are weird.

"By each nonsubjective measure, Microsoft is thriving - our marketplace performance, strategical positioning, and maturation each constituent up and to the right," Nadella writes. "We're investing much successful CapEx than ever before. Our wide headcount is comparatively unchanged, and immoderate of the endowment and expertise successful our manufacture and astatine Microsoft is being recognized and rewarded astatine levels ne'er seen before. And yet, astatine the aforesaid time, we've undergone layoffs.

"This is the enigma of occurrence successful an manufacture that has nary franchise value," helium continues. "Progress isn't linear. It's dynamic, sometimes dissonant, and ever demanding."

Ah, whomst amongst america tin fathom the dissonant enigma of trillion dollar corporations spontaneously having layoffs hap to them, portion doleful executives interval by connected aureate balloons, scratching their heads with bloody hacksaws.

In different news, Microsoft person reportedly been replacing developers of Candy Crush Saga with the generative AIs they helped to "train". Satya Nadella is seemingly a spiritual genAI user, and I bash wonderment whether that's a "local surplus" of capableness that could warrant immoderate further cost-cutting, arsenic per the glorious mysteries of progress.